What do you say to yourself when you lose money in the market? Do you blame yourself or perceive the loss as part of the process? Let’s talk about the correct perception of losses.
Emotional pain is one of the most common ways our brain responds to lose. And for him, it doesn’t matter what is lost. In principle, we react to lose significantly more emotionally than to profit. So our brain is programmed.
In this article, I want to consider several options for internal dialogs that traders carry with them when they lose money in the market. The information is more likely about how not to do it and what you don’t need to say in case of loss, so as not to exacerbate the painful effect and the negative experiences associated with it.
THE BAD QUESTION IS: “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?”
This question makes you mentally run in circles. You begin to sort through all your life problems in your head one after another. Get past troubles from a dusty bag of memory. You are trying to find the reason why all the misfortunes of this world are pouring onto you. What have you done so that now you have to constantly suffer?
Naturally, this only enhances the negative reaction of your brain. You, as they say, “loop” the situation. After all, if something is wrong with you, it means that until you fix it, misfortunes and failures will pour on your poor head. You inevitably become a victim. It strengthens your thoughts that your life is like a continuous stream of suffering.
In addition, this leads to the fact that you lose motivation. After all, what is the point of trading, if it still does not work out? Each next trade is given to you harder. There is a sense of meaninglessness and hopelessness of what is happening.
GOOD QUESTION: “HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY TRADING”?
When you change the vector of a question, your state also changes. You shift the center of gravity from the fact that you can’t change (your imaginary “badness”), to what you can change completely. You focus on real, feasible tasks. And this already allows you to set and formulate goals, write an implementation plan and work in this direction.
No matter how you regret yourself, the market will do its job. He doesn’t give a damn about you. He is not going to pity you and listen to your nagging. And it’s not at all because he is a stern and soulless monster who wants to inflict pain and suffering on you. You cause all the suffering yourself. The market simply doesn’t give a damn about you. He does not even know if you exist or not.
The only thing you can change is your behavior, your reactions and your actions during trading. This will be your best response to the loss. And yes, in this case, this is the way out.
It is important to understand that the psychology and behavior of the victim will only aggravate your pain, which will lead you to unproductive trading activities. Pain gives rise to resentment, resentment – the desire to take revenge, to punish the offender. How it ends in the market, I think you know well.
THE BAD QUESTION IS, “WHY AM I NOT LEARNING ANYTHING?”
If your losses are caused by a perfect mistake or a series of mistakes, then very often you say to yourself something like this: “why life does not teach me anything, how much you can step on the same rake.” And then, as a natural continuation of these thoughts, self-accusation begins that you are so stupid, stupid, worthless, stupid, incapable of anything.
Then, even worse, you begin to compare yourself with successful traders. That’s why they succeed, but life doesn’t teach me anything? A logical conclusion follows from all of this: you are a mediocrity that will never achieve anything in life. After all, giving yourself a promise to never do this again, you repeat the same mistakes over and over again. What is this if not the behavior of absolute mediocrity?
GOOD QUESTION: “WHAT CAN I LEARN”?
Every mistake is an experience. But how much and what this experience will teach us depends on how much we ourselves are ready to learn. It is important to remember a few simple things.
Firstly, it’s very difficult for you to change your usual behavioral model and familiar reactions on your own, without outside help. These reactions have been formed in you for decades, starting from birth. And to change them is very, very difficult. Moreover, few people really manage to even realize their presence.
Secondly, when you look at others, as you think, more successful traders, you have no idea what is hidden behind this facade of success: what path this person went, what it cost him, in the end, what is he for this success paid. After all, the maxim that nothing is given in our life for free did not appear from scratch.
Thirdly, there are no experts in trading who can lay claim to the laurels of “ultimate truth”. The market will teach us all our life. Some of them are learning us faster, some are slower, while others, in principle, are not able to learn how to trade. Never. And this is completely normal and does not say about a person that he is mentally disabled. Remember your school years and your classmates. We are all different.
We all come to the market with our own set of positive and negative qualities, strengths and weaknesses, whether it is the beliefs that we hold or our innate genetic predispositions. We are not able to change this overnight. If you study more slowly than others, it is not your fault or their merit. So defined. You just need a little more time. That’s all.
You will continue to make mistakes until, in the end, you master this profession. Accept this and learn to see in your mistakes the steps on the path to success.
THE BAD QUESTION IS: “WHY AM I SO MISERABLE”?
Or “it kills me”, “I can’t stand it anymore”, “I can’t handle it”, “I can’t adapt to the market environment” and so on.
Whether you are strong or weak, it depends only on yourself. The same applies to how happy you are. If you think that happiness is in money, then I have bad news for you. Throw in the trash all the popular memes that crying in a Mercedes is better than a bicycle. I believe in my impressive experience. Many times I met people who, as they say, “without looking” would exchange all their property for their health or their loved ones. Everything is always known in comparison.
The market will not make you happy if inside, in your own head, you remain unhappy. There is no external force that could give you happiness. And there are no such people either. Whatever you think and think about it.
The reality is that you cannot make the market make you happy. Even if you see your happiness in it. You just can’t control it. The only thing you can control is yourself.
GOOD QUESTION: “HOW CAN I BECOME MORE FLEXIBLE IN MY EXPECTATIONS”?
As soon as you open a deal, give up expectations. I understand that sounds strange. But the less you expect from the result, the less will be the emotional response. And in this case, it doesn’t matter if the transaction is profitable or unprofitable. Indeed, in both cases, you are wasting your emotions, which means emotionally and psychologically depleting your body.
I don’t mean at all to say that having fun or disappointment is bad. Not at all. But shifting the focus of attention from the result of trading to the process itself – this will be much more correct. This will allow you to distance yourself from the outcome of the transaction emotionally. When the result is not a cause for an emotional reaction, positive or negative, but evidence and confirmation of the correctness or incorrectness of the action.
This is a completely different perception of the result. And if you add the two previous questions “How can I improve my trade?” And “What can I learn?” To this, it will be absolutely wonderful. And you will experience positive emotions from the quality of the work performed. If this quality does not suit you, then you will look for growth areas. What conclusions can be drawn and how to improve your work.
Suffering, self-abasement, and feelings will be replaced by a normal work process.
TRADING IS NOT A PLACE FOR SUFFERING
But trading is not a place to abandon your emotions, feelings, and feelings. You are a living person.
You must learn to allow yourself to experience your emotions in their entirety. Not suppressing, not condemning and not rejecting them. But they should not guide your actions and actions, but common sense and reason.
Every good trader should have this ability. And this can and should be developed in oneself. The first step is to at least begin to be interested in what is happening inside you, in your own head. To shift the focus of attention from external to internal. You will be surprised at how interesting it is!